Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
