I skipped work to stalk him.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
