My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize