I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
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Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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