She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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