Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
