Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
