I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
