I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
