Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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