i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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