Taylor Swift is so right about you.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize