My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
