It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
