Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????