so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.