There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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