from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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