I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
