did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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