I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
