I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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