It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
