O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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