Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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