i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
