dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
