I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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