I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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