Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
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He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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