I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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