He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
