You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nicole vs. Life
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
