Is it normal to miss your booty call?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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