I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
