You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
