What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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