There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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