i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Randomize