Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
