So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
