He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
