Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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