Who did Billy Mays play for?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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