I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
