Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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