The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize