Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
