question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
