Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
