Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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