when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am one with the molecules
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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