Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize