I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
