Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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