She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
