remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I think people are normalizing furries
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
