I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
