Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
