It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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