I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
