Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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