I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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