We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just googled if crying burns calories
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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